Monday, January 30, 2006


I sit here at 1:23 a.m. and wonder it it is all worth it. Will I ever have success? If so when? I am 26 and I feel like i am going nowhere. When will I get mine? I know this sounds selfish, but when am I going to get mine?

Friday, January 27, 2006

lost... a poem

I'm lost in the open
blind to everything in front of my face
I look to the present in hopes of seeing the past
Finding nothing
I seek the truth
but find only lies
The hypocrisy of it all
makes me want to vomit
there is nothing to see
I know why I am blind
I see only death
it surrounds us all
Trying to find light
I see only the dark
and question the pain
Hoping to find something
there is nothing to see
my mind is empty
Through the darkness
I catch a glimpse of hope
but it is snatched away
All is lost
though I am teased with pain
all that remains is empty

just a pic

My reply to a message board thread

here is the thread
i am posting this here so it wont be deleted from the board as has happened with some of my posts that are unpopular

little deffinition of Hamas


(hämäs´) [Arab., = zeal], Arabic acronym for the Islamic Resistance Movement, a Palestinian Islamic fundamentalist organization established in 1987 during the Intifada. An offshoot of the Muslim Brotherhood, Hamas operates mosques, schools, clinics, and social programs but is best known in the West for its military wing, which has carried out numerous terrorist attacks on Israelis.

my anthropology teacher (who has friends in isreal on both sides; isreali and palistian) gave this analigy about Hamas. he said Hamas is like a political party (think republican of democrat in the US), the red cross , and the national gaurd all in one. if you lived in the west bank and lost your job or needed healthcare you would go to Hamas and they would give you what you needed. if some one had stolen from your store you would go to Hamas and they would ensure justice and compisation for your loss. they provide schools hospitals and defence for its members.

now keep in mind i DO NOT condone any of the actions the military wing of hamas have done, but to understand why the palistinans chose Hamas to lead their people you must understand that Hamas is more than "Just another terroist group." for many palistians Hamas provides all their needs whether it be education, spiritual, phisical or financial. we need to understand that the military wing of Hamas is a smal part of the group as a whole (though it dose get ALL the press because Americans don't want to admit Arabs do good more good than bad and if Arabs really hated us as much as people wish they did Arabs could with out a doubt wipe the US off the map).

so when you wonder why the Palistins ELECTED hamas to lead i hope you will understand a little better. they didn't elect Hamas for its military aspects but for its social aspects.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

the middle

As i sit here late at night (or early in the morning) i can't help but think that classes are starting in less than a week, and i am so not ready. This will be my ninth semester of college and i keep thinking - how did it come to this? I have one degree already (photography) and now at 26 i am going for another and thinking about getting a BA to boot. I'm getting to old for this.